Posted by: Susan | December 20, 2009

Best Friends

Yesterday Sam came home from school and after he walked (I mean ran the dog) we came home and he dressed up as Santa. We had the hat, beard, and hair from last year. We put on red sweat pants, his winter boots, black gloves(his idea), and filled a trash bag with pillows to look like a toy sack(again his idea). I took lots of pictures and he even went to the neighbors to show them how he had become Santa.

Why did I go to all that trouble? I need 12 teacher gifts for his school and times are tight right now. Even at $5 a gift it would be $60. Not in the budget. What’s a woman to do?

I called my best friend Mary, the computer wiz, and had her turn the above picture and another one in front of the tree into a Christmas card. Sam will hand letter the envelopes and this will be their present.

So my real question and reason for this post is  –

Do you have a best friend?

Going down the road of special needs is hard without someone who understands the whole process. No, I am not talking about your husband. I am talking about someone who day-to-day, like you, makes all the Dr’s
appointments, goes to all the therapy sessions and does the IEP’s. Someone who knows that you need to communicate on a regular basis with the teachers. Someone who also knows that our path takes us to very high peaks and very low valleys.

I have known Mary for 19 years. We talk daily even though we see each
other once every year or so. She lives in another state too far to drive to easily. We have built this relationship through the years. She gives me ideas for my IEP meetings. I do the same for her. Her daughter just started horse therapy. I was able to give her the names of some books and videos her daughter would enjoy. We just went through a very stressful weekend with April. Mary had some good things to suggest that might help.

If you don’t have that kind of friend start looking for one ASAP. It will take time. It helps if they have a child with special needs so they know what you are going through. It does not have to be the same disability. It just needs to be someone who lives in our “world”.

Nurture and build on the friendship and you will be rewarded. Reach out to another mother with a child with special needs. That’s what Mary did to me. I can’t imagine going through this without her. She listens, offers advice, loves my kids and keeps me sane. I hope you have a BF or will start growing a friendship soon! Susan


  1. Has it ONLY been 19 years? Our friendship has outlasted most marriages….and for good reason! How could a ‘mere’ man duplicate all the numerous benefits of having and being a Best Friend?

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