Posted by: Susan | March 13, 2013

Choices


April and I went to buy a new phone at Wal-Mart.  I had forgotten to tell her not to wash her cell phone.  No, we weren’t able to revive it after many days in rice.  Yes, she had a good reason for washing it.  Someone at Starfire had pulled a prank at school and thrown her phone into the trash can.   When she found the phone it was covered with lunch time garbage so she decided to clean it off in the bathroom.  Lesson learned.

As I was cruising the dairy aisle she asked if she could buy some yogurt for her lunches.  Normally I would just throw some low-fat yogurt into the basket because that’s what I like.  Instead I just kept shopping and let her pick out what she wanted.IMG_6448Notice she is eyeballing all the yogurt that taste like pie or cake or cheesecake.  I resisted the urge to give her input about nutrition and flavorings because she would only hear blah, blah, blah and if I want her to be independent I need her to make her own choices.IMG_6451We headed over to Electronics where she picked out and paid for her phone.  I backed away from the cash register so the clerk wouldn’t try to hand me the change.  April is at the point where she makes almost all her own choices.

The next day we had a meeting with a job placement specialist.  The specialist took lots of information about schools she had attended, jobs she had held and hourly wages.  I did help her with the things she didn’t know.  When I left the room the specialist asked her if she wanted her mom present at future meetings and she said NO!  I admit I was hurt because she didn’t want my help.  We reached a compromise.  I will not be in the same room when they meet but if she needs me to help her answer a question she just has to call me.

Letting our kids make many, many little choices will help them make the bigger ones too.  It’s hard to let go of the control but so necessary.

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